Sad and Funny

Things are going very well for me. I have two jobs, one of which allows me a large amount of time to study. My courses are fun even though they're challenging. I've got all this hope and optimism floating around in my head and I guess I'm exuding it because people have told me so. The thing is, even with all the great things happening and the hopeful outlook I've got, being able to share all these great things with someone is something I desperately crave.
In 24 years of living I've never had a problem being alone, but someday I'll have to graduate college and enter the real world. When that day comes I may not have a problem with being alone. When that day comes I may realize that being in a relationship is just not something I am prepared for or capable of. But until that day comes, and until I have a grasp of how likely it is that someone will want to be with me, I can't help but be petrified by the thought of being alone. I can't help that I am devastated when my closest friends fall in love and forget about me or when they drop me for other people. I can't help that I feel destitute and helpless at the thought that they have something I don't: the ability to forget about everyone and everything when with that certain someone. I can't help that I feel hopeless about my love life, but at least I'm hopeful about most everything else.

Life is sad, but life is funny. Our pain makes us more aware of our happiness, I guess.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
- Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddhartha, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)