It's funny to think that there's only one shot at this life. For all those believing in reincarnation keep in mind that we only have one shot at this life. We can't relive it. Anyway, you have to have guts to live your life the way you want to. That's why I'm coming to the realization that while we've got our friends to lean on, we're each alone in deciding what kind of life we're going to lead. Almost everyone I know in this town will be gone within a matter of months. They'll go on to live their lives according to their plans and I love them for the courage they may not know they have.
The thing is, I've spent the last 5 years of my life looking for the role model I wanted to mold myself after. I realize now that that person doesn't exist. I've had the image of that person in my head for quite some time, but I've waited until now to do the research on how to become that person. I can't be anyone but who I am. How could I be my own person if I modeled my life after someone else? I think I'm better off trying to be my own ideal person than searching for some real person to plagiarize. It's better to live by my own view of what I want to be than by someone else's.
I don't have to live selfishly to be happy, but I have to keep in mind what makes me happy. Helping others makes me happy. The "prolonging lives" and "improving health" bits define my career, but that's how I want to help. I can still be my own person while doing that.
So, all I need to do now is have some guts and live my life the way I can see it being lived. It requires a lot of planning and reorganization, but I'm up for the task. I've grown up more in the last year or so than ever before. I've never felt so alive.
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